derseking: peaches-geldof: why do all the grunge blogs use these ☠ ✡ ✌ ✞ ☥ ☪ ☯ ❀ ☺ are they like medals to show how much you’ve grunged soft grunge gym badges
emilioestevez: story time so about 7 months ago, my girlfriend at the time asked me to move in. so i did and we lived together for roughly 6 weeks. she asked me to move out until i was mature enough to live with a girl because in those 6 weeks i drew a dick on her face while she was sleeping 11 times.
hipssway-lipslie: obviously-bored: gosiowo: painstiels: [AGGRESSIVELY THROWS OSCARS AT THE ENTIRE SPN CAST] I’m so sorry. quick, Leo, catch one
leftforbed: leftforbed: mcsnuggie: true self control is waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn why would the movie eat my popcorn nevermind i get it
shadowrawrs: strawberrydaydreams: do you ever hate someone so much but you don’t even have a valid reason you’re just like no And then they give you a reason and its like
the-laughing-cactus: jaclcfrost: if i was in a fictional universe i wouldn’t be the main character i’d probably be that friend of the main character who lacks supernatural powers or special abilities but makes up for it with sarcasm and really lame one-liners
the-adequate-gatsby: the-adequate-gatsby: the-adequate-gatsby: My sister keeps asking me if I want to go see The Great Cosby with her and I don’t have it in my heart to correct her.
analprolapsing: analprolapsing: analprolapsing: omg my dog just turned into a bagel wtf you think i’m lying
bombliate: how weird is it to have pets though like a random animal just lives in your house and you can’t communicate with it but you both just accept it
theoncomingstormofgallifrey: such-a-retardis: catswithbenefits: why ride a rollercoaster when you can ride me Because rollercoasters can actually make me scream.
hotweiners: methlabrador: i accidentally just wrote “the soviet onion” on my paper and now i can’t stop laughing Layers and layers of communist propaganda
c-cumberbatch: mytardishaswings: femmederqueer: WAIT WERE ADAM AND EVE EVEN MARRIED OH MY GOD THE BIBLE JUST COLLAPSED ON ITSELF
rlmjob: anus: pizza: dreamsofcrimson: I summon pizza i am here nobody summons me :( don’t worry I’m here for you
sassygayherondales: stylishirish: horain: stylishirish: this guy i know throws this wild crazy party at the end of every school year and he invites literally everyone in our grade and this year i’m gonna call the cops ahead of time to shut it down because i once let him borrow a pencil and he never gave it back that’s a lot of anger over just 1 pencil. it was a mechanical pencil ...
warpedlamp: I have found the perfect gif representation of what internet arguments look like.
slawthe: egberts: can you imagine when homestuck finally updates the entire fandom is gonna stop what theyre doing and reunite
peclro: a Christian pizza parlor named Jesus Crust
thunderwear: ohmygOD so today this kid in my school tried to go through a loop in the railing and ended up getting stuck, so they had to call the security guard, who called the principal, and he pulled the fire alarm so everyone would come outside and laugh at him also, all the black kids went up to take pictures
blimpcat: i was listening to this song when i...
internetexplorers: errorsanitynotfound: internetexplorers: why hasn’t anyone offered my parents 5 camels for my hand in marriage yet what am i doing wrong its because you are worth at least 10 camels and they just cant afford you this is the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me
bastardlybrendan: 3000—21: oswinses: enjorlaas: skuboglesby: bilingual my ass. you’re either heterolingual or homolingual #you’re not bilingual #you’re confused #stop being greedy #it’s just a phase #you’ll meet a nice language and settle down #the bible says adam and eve #not hebrew and cantonese
camplazlo: one time in fourth grade i stole this kid’s gameboy and a couple months later we were chillin at my house and he was looking at my stuff and found the gameboy and he was like “wow i used to have one of these” and i asked he wanted to buy it and he was like sure so i sold it to him for like 60 dollars
livvefast: nordegrafs: mmmyesquite: uhuhanniebananie: tltty: i don’t even know if i like blogging anymore it’s kinda just routine people say the same thing about cocaine you fucking moron you dont inject cocaine excuse u i injected 5 cocaines i bet you havnt even drank one marijuana
tltty: k1mkardashian: tltty: how do penises even fit in pants you have to tuck it in your butthole thank you
tapdancers: saw a man at the beach drowning. he yelled ”help, shark, help.” i just laughed. that shark wont help him
villainsandfairytales: Every time I walk into a library I feel like I’m being judged by the librarians like oh you’re a teenager don’t you have a village to burn down or something